Don't you send me to vm
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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