I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We are all done wearing pants today
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
