tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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