I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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