And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
