haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
