He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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