You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
