if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
