her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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