I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
