You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
