So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
In America we eat man semen.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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