Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
