I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it's great music for shaving your balls
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
