did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
