He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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