Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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