WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
