i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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