i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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