i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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