Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
