I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
