Well douche your snatch and let's go!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
