ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
