How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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