Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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