She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
