Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
