Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
