I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
