I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
is that a dick in a sweater?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
