so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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