she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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