Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
