no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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