I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
