Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Your penis caused this!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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