This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
high people should be assigned attendants
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
