my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
