Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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