don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i will never coherently bang her
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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