It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
