I just made out with a guy for $7.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have aggressive nipples.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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