To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
