I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
