Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
