Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No subtext here. People are naked.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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