so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
