On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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