I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
