She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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