I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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